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This is me bitching about you and probably eventually to you.   
10:12am 24/11/2008
 
mood: pissed off
This letter is to you. Yes YOU. I hope one day I finally get pissed off enough to send you the link so you can read it and I hope it makes you feel like a complete, utter, nothing like you've done me and another.

Amber,

I call your bluff. You think your life is SOOOOO fucking bad. Suck it up. It's not. Most of the things that happen, you bring on yourself. You lead people on and then string them along. That's not nice, YOU of all people should know not to do that with people's feelings. I guess you forgot what it feels like or maybe you like doing it to others to try to make them feel like you do. Someone tries to be a good fucking friend to you and you walk on them. You ignore them for people you just met and then expect them to understand when you're moody and depressed because these newly found friends have some how ditched you and didn't return your feelings. The only people you want to really have relationships with are the ones who put you down and tell you you're fat and ugly. The ones who want to try to change you and tell you what you can and can't do. Who you can and can't hang out with. Fuck that. If that's what you want, I can start being a controlling, demanding bitch. I'm so fucking tired of hearing you complain about how bad your life is. Is it so bad because you give love and can't get it back? Been there, done that. I have a child with someone who could care fucking less. I'm raising her ALONE. I was abused growing up. I watched my dad abuse my mom. I cut. I done the drugs, I drank. I partied. I had sex with more people than I should have. I fell in love only to have him leave me. I've been with psyhcos, drugs addicts, abusers, and users. I've had more friends leave me while I was pregnant because I WOULDN'T PARTY. I was left by almost everyone! I had like 2 friends left that wanted something to do with me and one of them doesn't even live here. Most guys that tell me I'm pretty live so fucking far that it's not even realistic. I don't have friends to go out with. I have a daughter I have to deal with. You can lose weight, but how about stop complaining about fucking starving yourself. THAT'S YOUR CHOICE. THE CUTTING IS YOUR CHOICE. You can stop either at any fucking given time that you want to. Your life isn't that fucking bad. You have friends to hang out with, you have people that love you. I have my god damn family. That's it. I'm always second and lower to my friends and you know what, you helped to prove that. The only person that comes before my friends is MY DAUGHTER. I wish you'd come live in my life for a fucking DAY and you'd see that what you have isn't that fucking bad. Grow up. Get a life. Stop pitying your damn self. And I have friends that have a life a hell of a lot harder than you or I or anyone else I know. Try living with a disease that you can't control that's going to kill you probably by the time you're 35. You lose control of your body. You have to depend on someone else to take care of you. For your mind to be sharp as hell but have no control over body movement. To know that you're going to die before you're ready. To take care of your mom who's dying from something similiar. To be confined to a fucking wheel chair. To know that at one point you could control your body and such and now can't. Ugh. You make me so fucking sick, Amber. I hope you know you're starting to make me hate you. Yeah I complain sometimes but for the most part I'm fucking happy. Even if my life isn't how I planned it. Grow a set. Thanks. Fuck off.

-Your "best friend"
 
     
Enter Joyah's World
 
Texts round 2 so I can delete them from the phone   
12:32am 22/09/2008
 
mood: contemplative
Feb 22 1985 DOB

Sanford (Middle name)

Absolutely sure, Joy. I want you to be my everything.

You are my sexy goddess!

Whatever I want curves and can't wait for yours!

I love you too :)

south bend, indiana

You make me happy. that is what I deserve.

yes, forever

you are everything I want

promise on your love not to answer?

i loved finally saying it

3 long months, gah i can't take it baby!

of course i was serious.

don't believe me?

so believe.
 
     
Enter Joyah's World
 
Text messages from him   
12:02pm 17/09/2008
 
mood: loved
"No it isn't. I feel the same...I'm feeling a lot of things, <3"

"Just so happy when I talk to you...less alone. That I've found someone that I care about and hope to care even more about. That I already know I want you in my life, any way that I can."

"I want to be with you too Joy...so much. I can't quit thinking about
it, about you."

"<3 you. :)"

"I want to be yours and only yours..."

"Then be mine, Joy...be my joy."

"God...Yes I want you to be mine. More than you would believe. I can't believe how much I feel for you already..."

"If this is crazy I don't want to ever be anything else"

"I am yours if that is what you want, Joy"

"I can't. I enver know what to say...my words fail me when I open my mouth...I will but other than a vm I can't yet...feel free to think me too weird to keep talking to now :P"

"No. Leaving me alone is the last thing I ever want you to do"

"And I'll smile listening to each one...and leave many as well. I'm feeling...a lot. Happiness. Loneliness...longing to be right there with you. I want to be as much as I can for you, love"

"You know where I stand. we can be whatever you want us to be, as long as it will make you happy and it's what you really want."

"I want to be with you and spend every day making you smile."

":) Then we are, Joy. My heart is yours until the day you no longer desire it. No one else shall have it but you."

"I am the lucky one, you are more than I deserve. Are you happy, Joy?"

"I can't stop smiling thinking about you being mine. <3 so unexpected yet so perfect"

"I can't wait to see you, hold you, kiss you, make love to you, and see you smile every day :x"
 
     
Enter Joyah's World
 
Part 2 of 4   
08:48pm 30/08/2006
  -May be NSFW
-Not dial up friendly
-hotlinking is the devil
-Comments are LOVE.

it don't feel right when you're gone away...Collapse )
 
     
Enter Joyah's World
 
::by the time you get this message it's gonna be too late::   
11:57pm 19/12/2005
 
mood: pissed off
Don't hate because I've got what you want. What you LACK. Don't judge people you don't know. Especially when those people are the ones that just happen to make my world go 'round. There will be hell to pay for anyone who chooses to diss those people. I promise. You'll never understand what we have. Never. And I really don't care that you won't. People that see us around each other and know how we talk about each other and see the look we get..They sort of understand...But he and I..we are damn near close to perfect together. Get over the fact that I'm finally happy and guess what I'm not waiting around. Sounds like she's not the only one "jealous". I solemnly swear that I've got my head on straight this time and yes my heart is still on my sleeve, but that doesn't mean shit. I've got a perfect understanding of how I will deal with this. I've got a life to live and so do you. Why do we keep interrupting the process? We don't really know each other like we should. Yeah ok we'll always be friends. I suppose. I don't know. I'm confused. This whole online deal. The liars, the fakes, do you fit in amongst them some how? Are you just as fake as the others? I don't know, but you do. You confuse me. You say that she is confused, but look in the mirror. The confused only know the confused. How do you think you keep getting all this messed up bullshit? Leave my heart and my love out of this, because they have nothing to do with it. I don't understand how you drug him into all of this either. He has never done a damn thing to you nor me, so back off. I promise that I'm very overprotective and I promise that if you start shit about him, there will be consequence. Watch what you say, you may lose things you love. Watch your back, people are fakes, liars, and backstabbers. But then again you of all people should know this..Right? Isn't that all you let into your life? But if that's true, how do I fit in? Why keep me around? Why want my opinion only to shoot it down each and every time? Give it up. Give it all up. Be yourself. Stop. Just STOP. I don't know. Keep trying. Maybe you'll get it right someday. I think I've got it right. I think I played my cards right, because I swear he is like no other. And he is certainly not like NICK. Never EVER compare him to that dumbshit. Ok? Think you can handle that. Just bleh, leave HIM out of this. We are content together. Happy. Satisfied. We want each other and that's what we have. If you misunderstand our jokes and our personal stuff to each other..Then I'm SO sorry. He's far from a jerk. I could name a couple of jerks right off hand and yeah, I don't think you'd like that because right now you rank right on up there. I can't help that she isn't in love with you by the way. And you know maybe she is. Hell who knows? It's the internet. Lol. Ugh. whatever. Morons.

Sometimes I just wish all of these people would disappear and he and I were the only ones left.

If you truely love me, you'll never judge those who make me happy. Just let me be. I'll learn my lessons in time. I always do, don't I? And what if it all turns out to be ok, and you upset me with this stupid shit and maybe actually get me to mess up the one reason I look forward to each and every day? What do you do then? When you've helped me mess up the good thing in my life? But guess what, I won't let you. Because your insecurities of my relationship won't affect me this time. It's different. It honestly is. You made me CRY. Never make me cry. I've cried enough tears over you. It isn't worth it anymore. I'm tired of crying of stupid shit people say without thinking. Namely, you. I swear though, we are each others pride and joy and you can't take that away. EVER. Remember that. Maybe one day you'll be lucky enough to know what it feels like, and I hope everyone gives you as hard a time about it as you have me and maybe then you'll know what it's like to have all this done to you.



Thank you and have a good night.

P.S. I'm obsessed with the tape and the boxes. And using them together ^_^

xAlongxCamexYoux (11:26:49 PM): i got him a gift card
xAlongxCamexYoux (11:26:50 PM): to sears
xAlongxCamexYoux (11:26:53 PM): and it's wrapped
xAlongxCamexYoux (11:26:56 PM): in a boxes
Chloe (11:26:56 PM): lmao
xAlongxCamexYoux (11:26:58 PM): upon boxes
xAlongxCamexYoux (11:27:09 PM): with a shit load of tape on the inner boxes
Chloe (11:27:16 PM): lmao
xAlongxCamexYoux (11:27:18 PM): :-D
xAlongxCamexYoux (11:27:20 PM): and it's in..
xAlongxCamexYoux (11:28:03 PM): the bag from sears all taped up in paper in a stocking in a bag in a box in another box in another box in another box in another box and in the last box
Chloe (11:28:17 PM): lmao
Chloe (11:28:19 PM): geez
xAlongxCamexYoux (11:28:24 PM): and most of those
xAlongxCamexYoux (11:28:28 PM): are plastered with tape
xAlongxCamexYoux (11:28:30 PM): :-X
Chloe (11:29:11 PM): lmfao
Chloe (11:29:15 PM): poor poor boy
xAlongxCamexYoux (11:29:24 PM): he's gotta work for it
 
     
Enter Joyah's World
 
::The best you'll ever have::   
10:13pm 13/12/2005
 
mood: giddy
This last year. Wow. It's held some unbelievable moments...



December 18,2004 - I met Klaus-Derrik Jakob Duren..

January 2005 - KD moves to NC.

May 1, 2005 - the unthinkable unmentionable =\

June 13th 2005 - He leaves me. Alone and heartbroken

May 2005 - New job @ wal*mart

September 10-18 2005 - Birthday celebration at the beach which leads to the sprang ankle

September/October 2005 - meet my best friend Beth and meet rodney

October 31/November 1st 2005 - Morey's in Charlotte. Getting lost. Meeting Trent <3

November 4-6 2005 - Weekend with Beth, Rodney, and Trent. I miss the nights of only getting 2 or 3 hours of sleep because of us going and playing POOL in the middle of the night

November 2005 - Realization of things. Being with the most amazing guy. I started falling. He started falling. What a beautiful beautiful thing. My world completed.

December 2005 - Him meeting my parents. The drifting of the best friends. Remembering the last year. Dreading..the one year anniversary of meeting KDJD. And of the proposal. The entire reason I broke up with John last year.

The coming year of 2006 is offering a glimpse of hope. A glimpse of hopefully my future. Maybe this year I will come out on top. Maybe we'll still be together a year from now that way I can look back and say "hey! we beat the odds."

I've gotten closer with a few people this year and yet I've drifted from others.

Kelly - Thanks for being there

Allie - we aren't as strong..we've both got lives to live :(

Daryl - were has our friendship gone?

Kerri - We've been there through so much for each other but now we're basically strangers to each other.

Mandi - My lil CUZ. I want to hang out with you. Think we can do that?

I've met a few new people along the way that I hope will stay with me.

LIZZARD. I <3 u. I will visit Myrtle Beach. :-D

I don't know what this next year will hold, but I will hold on and endure all that life throws my way. I will come out stronger than ever and hopefully on top. :) I can't wait to see what this next year brings and the things that will come out of it. It shall be an adventure. So buckle up and hold on tight cuz here comes 2006.
 
     
Enter Joyah's World
 
   
12:08am 22/11/2005
 
mood: loved
I held my breath and somehow he came and swept me off my feet. *sighs* And I'll let him do it again and again. Everyone knew, but me. It's that happiness that makes you giddy, giggly, smile for no apparent reason and makes you rethink everything that you thought was happiness. It's that happy feeling in the pit of your stomach. It's picturing the night before. Kisses on the nose, forehead, and cheek. Those are what matter most..The ones that people seem to forget about. Look me in the eyes..We both know it's true. I promise.

him: what are you thinking about?

me: nothing important

him: you've got that grin..

me: what are you talking about?

him: somethings going on up here *kisses on forehead*

Time with you is limited and I figured out, at someone else's expense, that you are infact the only person I want to be with. Someone else drove an hour and a half to see me and you were the only person I could concentrate on. We both made realizations last night. Wonderful, beautiful, amazing realizations. You want to know when you can meet my parents..You want me to meet your parents.. You must be serious about this...

his sis: so yeah matt's talking to his hunny, so who are you on the phone with trent?

him: joy...mine (regarding the hunny statement)

Your bro and his fiance telling me to skip work Sunday to come to the family gathering. They don't even know me.

Paying $26 dollars to watch 2 movies with me. The one you wanted to see and the one I wanted to see.

And so what if I'm the ugly duckling? At least I'm YOUR ugly duckling. :) "Hey look there's the ugly duckling, hey look, there's a mirror" "T-rex is beth, king kong is rodney, and the girl is rodney's manhood..." "*about rodney's comment to the small manhood thing* HEY LOOK, I'm the only one that can talk about how small his manhood is" See, I've got jokes too, baby..

This feeling..It's the greatest thing in the world. You swept me off my feet. I'm amazed. Life couldn't be better. You are this stupid grin that I can't wipe off my face, you're the flutter in my stomach..You're my beginning and ending thoughts of the day. You're that LOOK in my eyes. Yours are the eyes I want to look into..I KNOW when I look in your eyes..That what you said last night is TRUE..We both know. We've known. We enjoy each others company. Each others kisses..The hugs, just the being together because it's not too often that we ARE together. We cherish it. It's all we have. The moments. The memories.

You're my knight in shining armor. We aren't perfect, but together we are damn near close.. :)
 
     
Enter Joyah's World
 
[none]   
11:13pm 13/11/2005
 
mood: crazy
I'm the kind of girl that comes along and rocks your socks off. You know the one you can't forget? Yeah, that's me. I'm beautiful inside and out, stfu if you don't think so, you can exit this page as easily as you entered.

I'm opinionated..Very opinionated..If you don't like it...then..Oh well? lol

I'm the BEST you'll ever have. Promise.

To most I'm Joyah. Or Joylala..Or Joy..Or Nichole..Or whatever the hell else you people decide to call me..But to one person..I'm lil one and shortstop..I <3 personal nicknames. Especially from Hoover...If you don't know, then you don't need to know..

Me and my crew...We know how to do it RIGHT. We'll go down as the ones everyone remembers...The ones everyone loves..just because...we are us...We don't take any bull and NO one can come between us..

I have 4 buttholes including my own. 2 reside in Gastonia and the other resides in Concord. harhar. You'll never understand...

I swear if I'm awake and you aren't and we are in the same house, you'll regret going back to sleep. I PROMISE that. Cold water is a BITCH. Ask Hoover..teehee

Shaving cream, feathers on the nose..Just wait..we WILL get Hot Rod while he sleeps..Me, Hoover, and Stephanie..it will be great...just got to make sure we've got the camera..

Life is grand when you're happy and you've found people worth having around.

Bride + Groom = happy couple

Maid of honor + Best Man = happy couple. I swear we WILL be the hottest couple there other than Beth and Hot Rod. ;) Just wait and see..

Mom : "When they get married, are you going to have your own room or will you sleep between them?" Me : "DANG SKIPPY, I'll have my own bedroom.."


My life = my friends, walmart, school...

Life..I love it. <3 More than ever..because you've shown me the reasons worth living and having fun...we are the BEST ever.

And don't forget, I'll be the best you've EVER had.
 
     
Enter Joyah's World
 
updateness   
09:02am 09/11/2005
 
mood: cheerful
[09 Nov 2005 | Wednesday]

Who knows...
Current mood: thankful


When there's something strange in the neighborhood, who ya gonna call?! GHOSTBUSTERS...harhar...

And thanks to TRENT

This is the song that doesn't it end yes it goes on and on my friend, some people started singing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue singing it forever just because this is the song that doesn't end yes it goes on and on my friend some people started singing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue singing it forever just because this is the song that doesn't end yes it goes on and on my friend some people started singing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue singing it forever just because this is the song that doesn't end yes it goes on and on my friend some people started singing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue singing it forever just because this is the song that doesn't end yes it goes on and on my friend some people started singing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue singing it forever just because this is the song that doesn't end yes it goes on and on my friend some people started singing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue singing it forever just because this is the song that doesn't end yes it goes on and on my friend some people started singing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue singing it forever just because this is the song that doesn't end yes it goes on and on my friend some people started singing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue singing it forever just because this is the song that doesn't end yes it goes on and on my friend some people started singing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue singing it forever just because this is the song that doesn't end yes it goes on and on my friend some people started singing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue singing it forever just because this is the song that doesn't end yes it goes on and on my friend some people started singing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue singing it forever just because this is the song that doesn't end...



Ok I think that's enough <3



Joy = happiest girl in the whole friggin world.
 
     
Enter Joyah's World
 
Halloween ;)   
11:57pm 01/11/2005
 
mood: cheerful
So. Joy = happiness. Ever been happy and you just don't know what the cause is? Like the kind of happiness that you feel in the pit of your tummy? The kind that makes you smile and giddy and want to cry of happiness for no apparent reason...It's freaking amazing to feel. :) So here is an outline of my awesomeness of a couple of days.

Monday - school. blah. DDR withdrawl fixed. Lol. Came home and messed around a bit and then made dinner..Started getting dark and me and daddy started doing the candy thing while eating dinner. Hot guy from next door kept flirting with me lol. Said he was dressed up as a redneck and i told him that it offended me. ;) He told me if he came up here I'd have to keep him company LOLOLOL. So yeah he kept coming up here and then he dropped his redneck teeth and when I finally found them I took them to him and he was all wanting to come up and hang out some more so I told him to come on..His sis is kind of a lesbian and was hitting on me and he told her to stop that she was scaring me, shoved the candy @ her and came back up here with me. Got to see my Aunt and 2 cousins. I need to hang out with family more often.. So yes..halloween at the house was kind of nice..

monday night - Beth and Rodney got here around 10:30 and we had to go to her house and argue with her mom to get their credit cards back. I just sat in the car and talked to John and Allie. ;) I had to call my alliekins because I was all nervous b.c of meeting trent. Left her house around 10:45 to go get Trent..*feels nervous* Went to Bi-lo in Harrisburg..(bfe?) As soon as Rodney got out to talk to him, Beth asked me what I thought and I was in pure shock. Wow. lol Cute. So yeah we were all sitting in the car texting each other. Lol, we were doing it so no one would know what we were saying. Only two people NOT texting each other were Trent and I and that's because of the lackage of phone numbers AT THE TIME. So yeah Trent finally started showing me what they were texting him and what he was replying with ;) Got so totally lost in Charlotte. Not like this is the first time we've gotten lost there lol. Took us 2 hours to find the pool hall on Monroe ROad. By THIS time..It's like 1 am and Beth and I have to piss really bad..So yea we go to use their toilet and it was so completely diguisting, so I made Rodney give me his car keys so beth and I could go to a convienent store to use the potty lol. We get back and the boys are already playing pool. We looked so out of place because it was like we were in the ghetto and when we went to the convienent store it was like the gay ghetto. omg lol. But yeah..Pool was fun, me and trent were a team most of the time and I've never really played pool and everyone was quite impressed with me, especially trent..Everytime I'd make a good hit he'd smile and go "that's my partner" lol...So yeah, Beth and Rodney decided that Trent and I need to be dating LOL..So yeah, now..I guess you could say that Trent and I are an item or something? In the talking process ^_^...Anywho, back to the story..the guy at the pool hall started asking where all of us were from and yeah...You've got me from BC, Rodney and Beth from Gastonia, and Trent from Concord..and the guy was like how the hell do you all know each other, so we had to get into that story..lol And then we left and it was cold as hell and this is like at 2:30 or 3 am..We drove around looking for somewhere to eat.. ie waffle house, ihop..yanno the 24/7 places but the only one we found was waffle house and they don't take effin credit cards so we had to drive around to try to find a damn ATM and when we finally found one at like 3:30 it wouldn't take their cards..lol this is when Trent and I started holding hands...At this time everyone is getting really effin tired, so we're trying to find the interstate and I'm back there holding trent's hand about to fall asleep so I put my head on his shoulder and everytime he'd about fall asleep he'd start rubbing my hand and it'd slow down and he'd doze off and then wake up lol...it was cute..Beth was all like "ya'll get a room" and Rodney told her we hadn't even kissed and Trent comes off with the remark (because we'd been making fun of them about kissing and cuddling and stuff) that they couldn't really see us because they were in front of us that it was a different story lol...so finally at 4:30 we drop trent off at his car and we start toward home..5:45 we make it to our wal*mart to find out what time Rodney has to be at work comes to find out he has to be there at 9 am lmao...so they just took me home..Got here around 5:50 am and went to my room and went to sleep..before I went to sleep I texted trent and told him what time rodney had to be up and that i was glad i got to hang out with him and this is the response i get "I feel 4 him, i had a good time with u too" TEEHEE...And then ya know we had tons of trouble out of beth's mom and stuff...And then beth goes and tells her about me and trent lol..;) And Beth and Rodney keep telling me they've never seen trent like this around a girl...That it's different when he's around me. They think there is actually something between us. I don't know and I'm not getting my hopes up...Whatever happens..happens..:) But yeah, that's it for now <3
 
     
1 Entered Enter Joyah's World
 
   
09:10am 26/09/2005
 
my pet!
 
     
Enter Joyah's World
 
Look..   
09:05am 26/09/2005
 
mood: rejuvenated
I know how to update my journal. I just chose not to do it. Haha.

I am QUITE intrigued by this person. Ahhh..Can't wait til TONIGHT.

I'll be a beautiful letdown...A beautiful let down is all I'll be to most.

EEP
 
     
Enter Joyah's World
 
read.   
07:59pm 04/09/2005
 
mood: exhausted
I leave for the beach on Sept 10 and will return on the 17th. I expect to have tons of phone calls on my birthday which is Sept 12 and maybe cards in my mailbox? If you need the address or number message me and I'll hand them over..



Also if anyone would like a postcard or something while I'm gone message me or e-mail me with the address pinkduckies25@aol.com



<3
 
     
1 Entered Enter Joyah's World
 
UpDaTe...lol   
10:29pm 21/08/2005
 
mood: nervous
Here is my update.

I start school tomorrow.

Here is school schedule

Monday
8 am - open
9 am - Intro to Program and Logic
10 am - General Psychology
11 am - Intro to Sociology
Noon - Calculus 1

Wednesday
8 am - open
9 am - Intro to Program and Logic
10 am - General Psychology
11 am - Intro to Sociology
Noon - open

Friday
8 am - Intro to Paralegal Studay
9 am - Intro to Program and Logic
10 am - General Psychology
11 am - Intro to Sociology
Noon - Calculus 1

SO yesh. My schedule...I haven't called Nick in probably two weeks. Be proud. Even though I still miss him.

I'm quite lonely.

Made new friends at work

Still SINGLE.

AHHH...Next...Please?
 
     
Enter Joyah's World
 
It's been a while since a real entry...   
11:06pm 01/08/2005
 
mood: giddy
To someone in this world, I am the most beautiful, breath taking thing there is in life. Their gaze is on me and no matter who were to walk by, their gaze would never wonder from me. To them, I'm special and all that they are looking for. When the rest of the world seems to hate me, they'll always be there. Even if I don't realize it. Even if no one else realizes it. This person is out there, somewhere...Waiting for me...Just as I am patiently waiting on them...Sometimes I wish upon the stars that I could find that person, but I know all the looking in the world isn't going to make them show up. It has to be the perfect timing. Maybe they are already in my life and I just don't know it yet. Even when the world tries to get me down, I have to keep on moving, believing that someone out there is so in love with me that I'm what keeps them going. That I'm their beginning and ending thought each day and I'm the one they see in their dreams. Knowing that they, just like me are waiting until we can be next to each other pacing our breath to be exactly as the others. To be able to finish each others sentences and be able to know what the other is thinking without using words. Just to know that someone out there loves me is enough to keep me going through the roughest of days. No one will ever make me doubt myself again because I know that one day, I'll find what I deserve...Even if it takes the rest of my life for it to find me, the time will be worthwhile because, he and I are alike and we'll never take a second of our time together for granted....I just have to wait patiently....

Patiently waiting....

Wishing on stars....
 
     
Enter Joyah's World
 
   
12:59am 28/07/2005
 
my pet!
 
     
1 Entered Enter Joyah's World
 
If God wipes away tears...   
03:09am 25/07/2005
 
mood: lonely
I wish he'd wipe mine away tonight...


Life is down on me and I don't know what to do.



I feel like I'm drowning.



I feel like I'm trapped in a prison.



I'm damaging the only things that really matter to me.



I'm so sorry....
 
     
Enter Joyah's World
 
I'm done and finished.   
12:32am 17/07/2005
 
mood: depressed
I probably won't write in this thing anymore.

I'm finished..over with...I can't take it anymore...

</3 The end.
 
     
Enter Joyah's World
 
*sighs*   
02:21am 15/07/2005
 
mood: aggravated
And just as I thought it was getting better...


The bottom falls out.
 
     
Enter Joyah's World
 
So why I even try.   
02:01am 13/07/2005
 
mood: contemplative
is beyond me.

Nick called me.

I'm "dating" a guy named Jonathan.

I'm totally lost and confused. Maybe Friday will help out. Jonathan and I are taking the day and going to the mountains.

So...No one talks to me anymore.

GoOdByE.
 
     
Enter Joyah's World